Society has made self-love seem girly, cheesy and oversimplified.

We justify our lack of self-love, because we don’t know how to love ourselves.

Trauma or self-criticism convince us that we don’t deserve love from others or ourselves.

We wouldn’t like it if the people we love lived in a stressed out state of mind, or for them to avoid doing things that they love doing, but we allow ourselves to live stressed out.

So, how do we love ourselves? Through:

· self-forgiveness

· self-care

· taking care of our mental health and personal growth

· having heart-to-hearts with ourselves

· being kind to ourselves

· having fun

· doing things that we are good at

· doing things that we enjoy

· pushing ourselves

· living at peace with ourselves

· taking time out to be alone


Self-forgiveness is important for self-love and self-acceptance.

Sometimes we cannot undo what has been done, and that makes us struggle with self-forgiveness. What we can do however, is clean-up our mess, which means we ask for forgiveness and do what we can do to help rectify the situation. Once we have cleaned up our mess to the best of our ability, it is important to let it go and put the past behind us.

Self-love means that we accept that we made mistakes. That is self-forgiveness.


Self-love is not the same thing as self-care and pampering, but they do go hand in hand.

Establishing habits of self-care, like eating healthy and exercising is an important part of self-love.

Our self-love is often a reflection of the love showed to us by others, which is great if we were loved well, but not so great if we weren’t.

A lack of self-love causes a disunity within us.

Mental Health and Personal Growth

A big part of self-love as adults is taking responsibly for our mental health and personal growth.

Even though we are not responsible for the ways in which we were hurt, it is immature to keep blaming others for the affects of the trauma and abuse. Blame keeps us in a prison of our victimhood, instead of us taking ownership for our mental health and doing something about getting healed. It is our responsibility as adults, to get healed.

We are the only ones who can work on our mental health. Even though people can help us, no one can do the work for us.

We need to always be growing forward.

Make it a goal to become good at relationships.

One of the best ways to love yourself is to build a life you love, and surround yourself with people you love.

Learn how to love yourself in relationships so that you can create healthy, strong and long-lasting partnerships.


As friends and loved ones, we talk to each other, and we check in on each other. Even more so when we know the other person is going through a rough time. Just so, we should check in with ourselves when we are going through a difficult situation by having a heart-to-heart with ourselves. We can say things like:

· “I just want to check in to see how you are doing?”

· “How are you feeling today?”

· “Is everything okay?”

· “I really love you, you know”

· “You will make it through this”

· “I have faith in you, you can do it”

Be Kind To Yourself

When you love yourself, you treat yourself kindly, both emotionally and physically. It seems simple, but it can be one of the hardest acts of self-love to master.